Trump: the Prison Diaries Satire Hole Guy clink

In this explosive first-person account of swapping the White House for the Big House, Donald Trump aims to Make Prison Great Again. MARCH 31 It's been two weeks since they put me in The Hole. Very unfair! No-one is treated as unfairly as Trump. Many people say that solitary confinement is a kind of torture.

I'm not so sure. I'm getting to spend a lot of time with my favourite person in the world. I say to him: "Mr President, remember when you met Bo Derek at the PGA Tour Championship? She had the hots for you, believe me. " And he'll reply: "I agree, Mr President. Also, I was a better golfer than anyone in the tournament.

And that's without cheating, which I would never do, believe me. " So I'm doing amazing. Incredibly well. Some would say I'm the best Hole Guy ever. Not like those losers who go nuts... Of course the verdict was VERY UNFAIR - they were meant to be a jury of his peers, but none of them were billionaires.